Hence, the key point to understand is that when the child shows irritation in her actions, it is you who has to stay in control, forget about controlling your child. Read a related post here.
The primary point is, it is necessary to have the sense of responsibility that the child is learning every behavioural aspect from you. The way you talk, the way you eat, the way you act. All through the day, you are involved in many tasks of your child. Your child is constantly learning something from each of them. She learns how to eat from the way you feed her, she learns how to stay calm from the way you stay calm even when tired, she learns how to engage time in creative things from the way you engage your time, she learns, learns and keeps learning. More importantly, it is also required of us that we learn from our children.
Talking about just one point - the child learns how to engage time in creative things from the way you engage your time. Did you have T.V. time with your months baby lying beside you on the sofa and you glaring at the T.V.? She is just months old, most of the time sleeping, does not have ability to move or play much with an adult and more importantly, she is not calling you to engage her, she is just lying there looking at the roof for sometime, feeding and sleeping for the rest of the day, how else would you kill time? So, the parent resorts to T.V. or chatting over phone etc. But, the child is continuously watching what the parent does. She is learning what life is by looking at how their parents are living their life. She is learning that having video time is one important thing to do once she grows up.
All this while, if the parent was conscious of her parenting style, more aware of what the child learns and how the child learns, he/she would have spent the same video time in doing something more creative. Every moment that you spend with your child right from their infancy stage is very important and plays a crucial role in how they are going to spend their early childhood.
Some link to read about here.
I don't think anyone would disagree when I say - Kids never remember and cherish their favourite serial that they saw on television, instead they cherish every intimate moment spent with parents all through their life. They may not have the ability to express the same, but, their behaviour plays a major role in holding cues in this regard. Taking responsibility in the way one parents the child is very much needed right from infancy stage.
Do not focus your energy on thinking about how you can control your child. Do you think of controlling your child while feeding, controlling her while playing, controlling her when she becomes irritable, controlling her when she doesn't listen to what you say? Just leave about controlling your child. When the parent starts to realise the situation and stays calm about it, reacting in the right manner, the child herself starts learning how to stay calm and there doesn't arise any situation where one would have to control another.
Staying calm is the key here. Again, staying calm is not equivalent to permissive parenting, same as addressed in this post.
Having this affirmation in your mind may be helpful - I should be not be the reason for any of my child's negative thoughts. Also, I should always try my best in screening her from any negative thoughts by teaching her how to ignore and grow out of negativity present around us.