Bonding With Your Child
How do you spend time with your child? Let me start with listing all the to-do tasks that are routine as well as mandatory to be done everyday:
feeding
napping
cleaning
brushing
bathing
changing
cooking
playing
Do you have any time left for some one-on-one emotional bonding? Make sure you include this as well in the list as it is something more important than all the routine tasks that we do for children.
Yes, it is true that you are already tired and down with all the listed tasks along with some additional tantrums that you may have to handle on the way. But, bear in mind that every moment you are with your baby, your baby is connecting with you. She is learning what life is and how to handle things in life by seeing how well you handle your tasks in hand.
In a way, you can always be positively connected to your child while doing any of the routine tasks. Having much needed parent-baby time is also important for both parent and the baby.
By staying focussed on your baby, you help her stay focussed on her task and share some lovable moments even while carrying out all the routine tasks. Let me talk a little on each of the activities:
Feeding:
Do not use any techniques to divert your baby from food during feeding. Let her be involved in the process. You focus on your child and your child can focus on what she is supposed to do. Gradually, she will learn and do what is supposed to be done. It is only a matter of time that you need to be patient along. Talk to her about food. Talk to her about what she is going to play next. Talk to her about various things. Connect with her. Give her a hug when she's trying to take food with a spoon, reach until her mouth and she's happy that she could achieve it. Give her a hug even when she dropped the spoon half way through. Focus on your child and you can feel her happiness.
You can read more on feeding time here and here.
Bathing:
Well, you could create another play time while bathing. There are many bath toys available or you could get creative in your own way. Give her the soap if she asks for it. Tell her how to go about it. Talk to her about various things. Let her stay for a while if she still wants to play with water even after completing her bath. Do not forcefully get her out of the bathroom. Let her explore things with water, mug and a bucket. When it is really time to get her out , explain to her slowly that she could play the same the next day and it is now time to do this, or go out or whatever it may be. Be slow in your tone and the child is sure to understand. Be loud, your message is sure to go into deaf ears and hit hard on gentle minds.
This activity may be useful during bath time.
Brushing:
Well, brushing is something that looks very weird as well as exciting to a child. You show her how to brush by not just forcibly putting the brush into her mouth, or commanding her to brush, but, by you brushing your teeth in the same time and explaining her what it really is for. She is sure to learn by example.
Changing:
There is no limit to what you can talk to your baby. Your baby is definitely curious to learn more from you. While changing her, you could talk about what pictures the shirt has, which colour it is in, where you are going next and so on. Again, you could make any story out of the pictures present on the shirt. Stay focussed on your child and you are sure to connect more and more with her.
Napping:
Be gentle while putting a child to sleep. The thoughts they get while sleeping are very important. Do not threaten your child to sleep. Talk about her day, talk about the next day, tell bed time stories, try whatever, but, do not yell at her. The child develops an insecure feeling when she is being yelled at. Stay calm. Though a bit cranky and restless, late or early, she will surely fall asleep.
Cooking:
Have good thoughts while cooking. Never cook in frustration or disappointment. How much ever tired you are, stay calm, cook whatever is required with happy thoughts of your child in mind.
Playing:
After handling a restless baby for nap, tired baby for feed, cranky baby for bath, brush and cleaning, tired body while cooking, a baby who never stays at a place for more than a minute for changing, you may already be tired and down for the day, and may end up giving your child some blocks here and there, wishing to relax for a while before your baby wets her pant again. You may tend to have some TV time, or hang on the phone with someone, or just chat on the messenger.
But remember, some play time is also important for the baby. Try to be creative in what you offer your child for play.
You can find various play time ideas here.
Parent-baby time:
Is there any time left to fit this in your day? Your baby is already habituated with your feeding and napping habits. She wants to connect more with you. She wants to know more about you, learn from what you are and have some personal bond with you. Make sure you have some time for cuddling with your baby, talking about various things in life, what you both will be doing together some day and so on. There is really no limit to what you can talk to your child about. They are keen listeners and curious learners. You could tell her and teach her anything and everything. It is just a matter of time.
Remember, every minute in your child's life counts, she is constantly learning, every moment she spends with you is important. And, it is impossible to get back her childhood. Make sure you spend some quality time with her. Make sure she is offered some creative play, help her in doing things, show her new things around the house. Do not scare her from anything, but, explain to her what each item in the house is for and how we should use it. Always stay calm and gentle with your baby. She is still learning how to live. Lead by example and show her how colourful and happy life could be. Her thoughts are developed by your actions towards her. You may read this. She learns only by seeing you and not when you dictate rules to her.
You have to love your life, live your life lovingly, love the way you are living and your child is sure to learn how beautiful and loving life is
