Moving on to the next DOT

It is in the hardships that the essence of life is realized.

Some of you who know me would even know that I write often. Most meaningful writings of mine have come when I have been in deep thoughts with life. It could have started with a moment of anxiety, pain or discomfort, but, once I delve further I reason out and be in awe with how life unfolds to me.

The first resume that I had created had this as my ‘Objective’:

A challenging position to prove my credentials and showcase the skills I have developed so far, thus leading to the development of the organization as well as the society at large.

5 years from then, I have started getting this tingling feeling that I am not utilising my energy in the best of my interests.

Now, close to 10 years from the time I have created my first resume, it has become clear to me that I was neither exercising the best of my skills in my current job nor was my job contributing towards the society in my definition(Tech products do contribute to society).

Our goals and reasons behind them

Since childhood, just as another being, even I have had goals - some short term, some long term. So, what was the reason behind having those goals? I see myself as a person who was mostly unaware of the society around, unaware of my potential, unaware of how I can take action with the thoughts I have. Yes, thoughts - I had plenty. Even since school, but was blatantly unaware even until my 30’s that - Yes, I can take action towards them or I can probe further and do something about it.

As I list down some of my prayers, needs, desires I realise that whenever I was in the presence of an idol in a temple, all I prayed for was to help me move closer to my subconscious. Yes. I did that. Strange, right? Even in my 7th class, I prayed for it. And there are many other instances when I was emotionally moved, shed tears, realised quite many intricacies of life during my prayers.

Some of my goals have been:

I have visualized riding a bike - it happened.

I have visualized driving a car - it happened.

I have dreamt about going to Ramaiah Coaching - it happened.

I have willed to spend an extra year to prepare for entrance exams - it happened.

I have willed moving out of home and living in a hostel for college - it happened.

I have visualized working in a posh high rise air-conditioned office building - it happened.

I have visualized moving to Oracle(from Infosys) - it happened.

I have desired to have a family in native place(not abroad) - it happened.

Whatever goals you put in for yourself, your mind achieves it. Be mindful of what you are putting in there.

Though I was knowing better of my interests during the period of my college and after college, I have never been conscious to research more on how I would make a career out of it. Was so unaware. Maybe, dumb!

All this while, I had focussed on the ‘I’, what I saw as trending in the world around, what I can achieve. But never really knew if my subconscious actually needs that. It is now time to be in union with my subconscious, no more focus on the I and move ahead in unison with my intuition.

I trust the Universe in this matter.

I am in union with the universe doing what I am supposed to do in this lifetime helping to make the world better.

Was what I trod on, a wrong path?

So, was all that had happened to me wrong? Something that should not have happened?

No! Each person carves out his path in this lifetime even before taking birth. We choose our parents, siblings, every relation that we make in this lifetime, place of existence at every moment in this lifetime. So, it was a very well carved out path. And Life keeps giving you chances to get back to your intuition. Life is ever-forgiving.

I have made wonderful relations in all my previous experiences, they have definitely helped me grow in more than one way. There was growth in every phase. And there is an evolution in every stage. We keep evolving to a better version of ourselves, every moment.

Hence, it is so important to be mindful!

Also, all this while, whatever thoughts I have sent to the universe have been given back to me in various forms. Now, it is time to think mindfully and be conscious of what I am sending to the universe and attracting from the Universe.

Being unaware - Is it someone’s fault?

We sometimes feel - had I known some other ABC, I would have never stepped into this EFG. Or, had I known about this particular career, I would not have chosen the area of study that I did. Is there any truth in this? Such statements do not carry any true information. We never know how a human would be even 1 min from now being in the same place. At this moment, he may smile at some trouble caused by the elder child and the next moment he may scold the younger child for causing trouble. So, we can never judge or declare that if something would have happened, I would be in so-n-so place. My opinion!

The way of parenting by every parent is based on the way he was parented and based on his consciousness. Only when the life incidents are reasoned out, does one understand that there can never be a blame-game. Each one carves out his own path, chooses his parents, every other relation, makes certain choices, chooses to walk in that path, grow, evolve, move on and realize more and more.

All that has happened has been chosen by me and ultimately led me to the present state of ‘being me’.

Connecting dots to complete your beautiful life

I am one person who sees reason in every conversation, argument, interaction, exchange of words that I have with another person, the thoughts I carry in my mind, thoughts I carry in my subconscious, actions I do, words I speak. If every such instance can be termed as a dot, I can clearly see all those dots connecting so perfectly and seamlessly.

Right at this moment, I recall many such connections having taken place.

Being very busy growing up in our childhood, teenage, adulthood, somewhere, somehow we have lost our little self. I urge you to connect with that little self and understand what s/he really is craving for.

Interests, Passion, Career - IKIGAI

Wanting to be present fully to my little children, I have been through different work styles - full time from office and working from home. I had even tried to look for other challenging remote tech-jobs to sustain my debt. After much research and internal digging through, I have only come to realise that the Universe is wishing me to move ahead, make a fresh start and not cling on to a career just for the sake of money. Only when I dare to close one door can the other doors be opened.

Be it working for an organization or working with another individual or independently, only if you find purpose in the work you do can you be passionate about your work. And, in case of working with another individual or organization, the vision of those who are working together should be aligned, only then can the desired results be achieved.

Though I may not make huge bucks staying in the non-tech field, I am sure I will take up challenges on my own and grow up the ladder of emotional satisfaction while serving my life to the fullest.

I must say, I have become mindful of how I am spending my time and energy during the day. I am starting to see what I am doing and ask myself if it interests me. I do not want to lose myself in a run for the money.

How it started, How I processed, How it ended?

There have been numerous instances when I, for sure, knew this place is not for me. Yet, I kind of ignored, avoided due to most common reasons like ‘Log Kya Kahenge?’ and the like. I have gradually understood, working with machines is not my cup of tea. I always wanted to be around people, working with people. I knew my calling was elsewhere and I have to make a move some time or the other. I realized I am investing the majority of my time and energy in things that I do not value much. I had anxious days, sleepless nights, tearful eyes, bouts of depression, pain, discomfort, gloominess and many more. All these are the ways our soul communicates to us regarding what we are doing with our life. It may not be that doing XYZ job causes depression but it is more about being aware if your calling lies in doing XYZ job

Comfort zone

I have been in a comfort zone for quite many years. I have also moved to the discomfort zone quite a number of times but didn’t dare enough to move completely out. As it is said:

Universe has created enough discomfort around me that I am no longer in my comfort zone and having so many realizations, I do not claim to be in the discomfort zone either. It is just the right time to move on.

It is now my turn to trust the Universe, go ahead, channel my energy in the right direction and act upon my thoughts. And, I am all excited for this journey ahead.

If you have read until here, please wish me luck!

Thanks a lot for your good wishes

And, if you wish to listen to some advice:

Be watchful regarding how you are keeping your mind occupied. If you are only focussed on ‘engaging’ your mind by keeping it ‘busy’, you might miss out on listening to your subconscious. If your mind is meditative while doing that activity, you resurface many beautiful callings from your subconscious.

And, what are we doing to our children? Engaging them by continuously keeping them busy? Or, allowing them to experience the calmness of his/her subconscious?

Yes. Yes. I bring in the topic of parenting and children in all my thoughts and writings. Because we are all interconnected. All our thoughts, words and actions are interconnected.

Life and Success

Well, according to me, success in life is to find the essence of life and work towards it. And, to each its own. My meaning to life may not be the same as your meaning to life. But, those whose meanings are similar flock together, take action and create an impact in their little world around - be it whatever field it is. Find your tribe and start making a difference to the society around.

Each one has their own definition of success. The whole point is each one is looking for success in his own world, in his own meaning, in his own way. Being mindful is all that we can do!

Also, if you do not find the inner motivation to do something, do some research, know about yourself, look for things that you are actually motivated to do from inside and dare to make a move. In a run for the money, please do not kill yourself for not doing what is expected or be blind to what is happening to you in the name of ‘society-standard-high-income-living’.


Sai Sujaya Chaturvedula


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