Learning by living
This was the scene in our home some days back(keeps happening too).
10 mins after both kids woke up, they had an argument and meltdown over something.
Again in a while, they had a fight regarding who should brush teeth first or how they can arrange themselves so both could do at the same time.
An hour later, as I was mopping the floor, dd1 was calling me to ask something, just as I try to answer dd2 calls me for another thing.
10 minutes later, as I was going down while mopping the stairs, saying out loud 'be wherever you are, please dont come down the stairs, they are wet'.
2 minutes after I finish my above sentence I see dd2 walking down the stairs asking for something and dd1 already reached lower floor having run down the stairs and is calling me for something else.
An hour later, after their bath and other routine, again an argument between the two and meltdowns.
Amma, this. Amma, that.
And many more.
Yes, chaos. And that's fine too. Because, that's what real life is.
Real life is not segregating ourselves to groups of same age so each does their individual work in peace. I do all my work once I send my kids out, or so.
Real life is dealing with people of various ages.
The person of our age.
The elderly man on the road.
The bus conductor.
The various society helpers who we depend on.
And many many more.
Through the entire life, except for our journey in the education system, nowhere else do we see people really talking to just people born 6 months prior or later to each other.
I've heard this and similar statements by numerous people at various stages of life:
I just can't handle this parenting, why am I having to learn NOW?
Wish we had some course on how to lead happy family life, I was never taught this. So many hows and buts when dealing with the new family I entered in, post marriage.
I never knew how to deal with outside people. I need to learn about it.
Also, many succumbing to their abusive spouse or boss just to keep their relation.
And some think, but life is going to school and doing what the teacher asks to do. How can we say ok to our child who doesn't do that? How do I change that?
No, that need not be the life of all individuals in this planet. Do we succumb to an abusive boss? No, we make our way. Let children also understand their triggers and make their way. Hearing out their pain is the least we can do. Of course, such instances need to be taken case by case. But, please listen to your child.
This is life. And we learn by just living and not when segregating ourselves in rooms enclosed by four walls and following instructions.
Im only glad that major part of the day is spent in letting nature trigger our pain points, understanding our triggers, understanding our pain points that further leads to knowing and understanding ourselves better.
Because betterment can happen only when we look for and realise where we need to change.
Also, this scene that happens often with 2yo and 5yo may not happen with 14yo and 11yo. There may be some other type conflict of idea then. Yet, the children having dealt with these day-to-day arguments would eventually understand each other's needs and resolve. Ofcourse, the parent would be available for any help.
I would also wish to let you know that this journey of unschooling is not always peaceful.
But, that's the real life and we are living it. Also, learning by just living.
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