November 16, 2019

Learning by living

This was the scene in our home some days back(keeps happening too).

10 mins after both kids woke up, they had an argument and meltdown over something. 

Again in a while, they had a fight regarding who should brush teeth first or how they can arrange themselves so both could do at the same time.

An hour later, as I was mopping the floor, dd1 was calling me to ask something, just as I try to answer dd2 calls me for another thing. 

10 minutes later, as I was going down while mopping the stairs, saying out loud 'be wherever you are, please dont come down the stairs, they are wet'. 

2 minutes after I finish my above sentence I see dd2 walking down the stairs asking for something and dd1 already reached lower floor having run down the stairs and is calling me for something else.

An hour later, after their bath and other routine, again an argument between the two and meltdowns.

Amma, this. Amma, that.

And many more.


Yes, chaos. And that's fine too. Because, that's what real life is.

Real life is not segregating ourselves to groups of same age so each does their individual work in peace. I do all my work once I send my kids out, or so.

Real life is dealing with people of various ages.
The person of our age.
The elderly man on the road.
The autowallah.
The bus conductor.
The various society helpers who we depend on.
The manager.
The boss.
The parents.
The siblings.
The cousins. 
The spouse.
The parents-in-law.
And many many more.

Through the entire life, except for our journey in the education system, nowhere else do we see people really talking to just people born 6 months prior or later to each other.

I've heard this and similar statements by numerous people at various stages of life:
I just can't handle this parenting, why am I having to learn NOW?

Wish we had some course on how to lead happy family life, I was never taught this. So many hows and buts when dealing with the new family I entered in, post marriage.

I never knew how to deal with outside people. I need to learn about it.

Also, many succumbing to their abusive spouse or boss just to keep their relation. 

And some think, but life is going to school and doing what the teacher asks to do. How can we say ok to our child who doesn't do that? How do I change that?

No, that need not be the life of all individuals in this planet. Do we succumb to an abusive boss? No, we make our way. Let children also understand their triggers and make their way. Hearing out their pain is the least we can do. Of course, such instances need to be taken case by case. But, please listen to your child.

This is life. And we learn by just living and not when segregating ourselves in rooms enclosed by four walls and following instructions. 

Im only glad that major part of the day is spent in letting nature trigger our pain points, understanding our triggers, understanding our pain points that further leads to knowing and understanding ourselves better. 

Because betterment can happen only when we look for and realise where we need to change.

Also, this scene that happens often with 2yo and 5yo may not happen with 14yo and 11yo. There may be some other type conflict of idea then. Yet, the children having dealt with these day-to-day arguments would eventually understand each other's needs and resolve. Ofcourse, the parent would be available for any help.

I would also wish to let you know that this journey of unschooling is not always peaceful. 
But, that's the real life and we are living it. Also, learning by just living.

#unschoolingkids #homeschoolingindia #children #unschoolinglife #unschoolingindia #homeschooling #learningwithoutschool #homeschoolinglife #homeschoolingkids #letthembe 


November 13, 2019

Questions and questions

A day after turning 3: Amma, Why is moon moving?
Once type that in google...
How the moon moves when we are walking moon is moving
Ok na?


5yo Chef

5yo has been writing and drawing recipes these days. Though i couldn't take many snaps all through, this dish here is made today. She draws the veggies ingredients, cuts them(the ones she can), adds to vessel and does those tasks that she can do(ones without fire).
Yummy pav bhaji made today as per 5yo's recipe and directions.
And the 2.5yo while eating asks me "naanna ki unda idi?" (Is there some for father?)


All about being social

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, text

We have taken 6 train journeys in the last 15 days. During those trips, my 5.5yo and 2.5yo have interacted, initiated a conversation, initiated a play with a 9mo, 9yo, 7mo, 2yo, spoken to adults as well and answered the standard set of questions that every child gets asked by an adult - what's your name? How old are you? Which class? Which school do you go to?
They have been super active, always playing in the train as well as the places we have been to, immersed in imaginary play and role play.
Children are social by nature. They explore, interact, seek fun and play everywhere. Not to forget, they do all this being fully aware of the safety of the environment around including people around them.
A child does not think -oh, i dont go to school, so i wont talk to others. Or, oh, i go to school, i should be talking to everyone.
A child who is on her own scrutinizes the environment around and interacts in a safe way.
Its the adults who label and categorize children that she talks to everyone or she does not talk to anyone at all, and needless to say, a child gets affected with such labels and her original behavious is altered because of such generalizations.
It's time to ponder on the parenting rather than focus on the child's behaviour.
And, we still get asked, then how do they learn to interact with children and people if they don't go to school???
The one who has boxed his thinking finds it hard to break open the box and think outside the box.

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Free to Draw

2.5yo drawing out a story as she recites. While reciting the story, she drew a flower, honey bee, myself, me waiting for the honey bee to give me some honey, honeybee handing me a jar of honey in my hand, she shows the fingers that she draws, herself, her father.
And, a castle, writing down names of people in castle.
Young children create when the freedom and time to do so is provided to them. When children are constantly taken from one class to another just so she could draw neat lines and colour between the lines, all this creation and imagination is simply wiped away.
Give them time. Let the children be.

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Oh! Let them play.
Yes, let them free.
Free to play.
Free to live.
Also, free to learn.

Can we have such imagination in a class directed by a drawing teacher?

Oh, let the child just be!



In the world of Sticky Stars

There is no respect for another when there is a reward for it, for the bribe or the punishment becomes far more significant than the feeling of respect. If we have no respect for the child but merely offer him a reward or threaten him with punishment, we are encouraging acquisitiveness and fear. Because we ourselves have been brought up to act for the sake of a result, we do not see that there can be action free of the desire to gain.
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

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Why don't we allow the child to witness pure joy of learning?
Why is there a catch of sticky star?
Why is there a race to get that sticky star rather than the joy in the journey of learning?
Sticky star for those who finish writing, says the teacher of a famous international school.
Sticky star for finishing the lunch box, says another teacher from another school.

Why are we bribing children with rewards instead of letting them love their journey of learning?