May 09, 2018

Why I do not wish to hurry my children?

There have been many questions and apprehensions from some who follow my posts regarding how I manage to finish things when my children are taking forever for their tasks and I do not hurry them?

girl wearing first communion dress among the spikes

I do not wish to hurry my children for their brush, bath, walk, eat, play, sleep and whatever that they choose to do in general. Even since DD1 was a year old, I used to wait for her to finish her task and attend my call(may be when going out or meals or sleep). And soon, I may not even schedule their sleep time. I am happy with how they would schedule their tasks be it meals or sleep. Even now, DD1 says she is feeling sleepy around the same time everyday and she willingly comes over to sleep.

Why I do not wish to hurry my children for their tasks?

  • Because there is joy while indulging in one's own thoughts
  • Because there may be learning (which most probably is, in the case of children), but, I do not mandate that there has to be learning whenever she is taking time.
  • Because when you hurry finishing a task, you only do it mechanically but not soulfully. 
  • Because when you hurry finishing a task, you remember that you have hurried and that the task is finished but not the journey that you have taken in order to finish the task.
  • Because we all want to live life, not hurry life
  • Because we all like to live intentionally not just blindly.
  • Because we love to make memories not deadlines for tasks
  • Because, there is so much fun in following one's thoughts and leading the way
  • Because, it is sheer joy in observing a child indulging in her own thoughts while doing a task
  • Because, I don't think I can end this list!!! ☺☺☺
And what do I do when I am seriously running out of time? How do I manage to get things done? 

I need not stress about how I will be able to do since, my daughter knows the intensity of the situation. I need not bluff or use threat to get things done. When there is real urgency, I tell her and she gets the point. Again, because, I do not hurry her in her everyday tasks.

Since a month or so, we started washing our own clothes and drying them on the cloth line. Why? Not because, she would know how difficult washing is. Not because, she would learn something in life. It is only because, we enjoy the experience of spending time together doing various activities in various ways. Each day is different. The experience we have each day is different. DD1 and DD2 actively wash their clothes and dry them and put the pins to the clothes. All the while spending some time looking at the sky, sun, clouds, trees and talking about various things. This experience is much more interesting than washing clothes in the machine and drying them while feeling the task to be monotonous and boring. In the prior situation, it is never monotonous, because the experience of being, doing, talking is different every day. Every day is different. Feel the joy. 

DD1 seems like she takes forever time to just open the tap. No hurry. She is observing how the intensity of flow increases as she turns the tap open slowly and in various angles. 

DD1 puts some detergent powder in a mug, mix little water in it and shows me the blue coloured solution that is formed. Upon asking, from where the blue comes when I see the powder was white in colour. She says, "the powder has tiny particles of other colours also. Total, there are 4 colours - white, blue, red, yellow. Upon mixing water you get to see the blue colour only when you put light amount of water not more. If you put more, you see more of foam, not necessarily blue coloured solution." She explains all this in less than 20-30 seconds.  

I am not sure if they could be so alert when hurrying, definitely, NO.

So, she adds water in the detergent and pours the mixture in bucket of clothes. Since she add only little amount of water, she needs to repeat it for 4-5 times to empty the entire soap solution in the bucket of clothes. During this while, she notices how the blue coloured solution starts to fade away while doing the same thing repeatedly. 

I am dumbfounded.

During bath time, I ask her to hand me the soap. Doesn't seem to hear me. I ask her again. No hurry. I notice she is trying to balance two mugs under water that is flowing into a bucket while also trying to not let any water flow outside the bucket. I do not hurry her.

We are on the terrace. I intend to leave the place to attend to some other work. I try to call DD1. She doesn't move. No hurry. She is lowering her knees and coming back up. Repeatedly. And, she starts to say, when I do this, the moon also is moving along with me. 

I am not sure if all these experiences and learnings could fit into a curriculum of text books in a school. I would really miss all the experiences that my DD1 shares with me if she really starts going to school. 

Child, I Am A Student, Book, Figure, Learning

#Rethink Education
#Rethink Parenting

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