November 16, 2017

Good, bad and the ugly

What is all this about good jobs and bad jobs?
Why are children being told that they just did a good job hence can get something that they asked for. Or that, they just did a bad job and hence they need to be punished(not getting something).?

Who decides what is good and what is bad?
Why are we imposing baseless statements on a child's brain?

I see 8 year olds talking to each other saying we are all good but they are bad, hence, let's not play with them. Who has imposed this image of being good and being bad on the child? Aren't the parents the real drivers of instilling such thoughts in children starting from when the child was a year old?

Why do the adults try to control their children in every way possible and in a way do not let them be free thinkers.

Why are we criticising the child for what just happened instead of taking his stand and seeing the way he did at that moment?

Why is the parent shaming the child by saying, you are shy, you are slow, your friend has already learnt to write up to 10 or that guy has already learnt to read, you are stubborn, you are timid, you are greedy and the like.

Why can't the parent relate to a child's thinking? What is stopping the parent to do so except for the self? 

When the parent has actually used the term shy to describe her child, the child might not even know meaning of shy. What are we trying to teach the child? When you just described your child as shy, your child actually transforms her self to become one with such attribute. When you just described your child as timid, your child becomes one with such attribute. Why is there a reason to define children with specific attributes? Aren't we all a little shy at times, open at other times, introvert at times, extrovert at times, comfortable with some while not comfortable with some people, brave at some situations and timid at some, lazy sometimes while very active at other times.? We are not the same all the time, in fact, no one remains the same all the time, no one remains the same through the entire life. Can we take it when we hear anyone describing us with certain attributes? Don't we immediately plunge forward and qoute an example when you were behaving without the said attribute. Don't you defend yourself? Don't you defend your personality? 

Who are we to define our children with specific attributes? Just because we have given birth, it does not give us a right to shame or limit the child to certain set of attributes. Remember, it is only the mind that can limit one. Children have their own ideologies and comfort zones. Parents cannot limit their children to certain set of attributes. Why can't we be more open, more acceptable, more trust worthy instead of being judgemental of every single thing that the child does. 

Oh, my child is not writing as much as him, may be he is slow. Oh, my child is not reading as much as her, may be he is not interested. Oh, my child doesn't go for any skating classes, may be he doesn't want to learn any, he's lazy to move much. Oh, my child doesn't take part in the dance, may be he is shy. All these may bes will sum up and make a whole in your child's persona.

Leave about how your child is. Focus upon how you are. Becase it is you, who your child is continuously learning from. Watch your thoughts, words and actions. Let the child be. Be with the child. Explore together. Know your child. Become a child again. Enjoy parenthood.

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