July 07, 2017

What are the instructions for?

Why I do not read out the instructions or explain rules?

Be it any task that my child is doing, I step back and first notice my child's moves. Because, the moment I start dictating her what the steps are for any task, her process of thinking is set aside.

I do not want her to follow my instructions. I would love to follow her instructions in the umpteen number of new games that she introduces me to.

I do not want her to colour with exactly the same colours that the colouring book shows on one side of it. I allow her to use her thinking and colour the object with what she feels suit it.

I do not want her to always draw meaningful things like the flower, sun, moon, or whatever. I allow her to make her own drawing and name as her own unique design.

I do not want her to follow the rules of board game 'Ludo' by exactly doing what was written on the box. I allow her to create rules and follow her game of play.

I do not want her to follow my words when I say 'do not add water to it, else it will get spoilt' I allow her to add water and see for herself how it would be.

I do not want her to play as I say, be it in the sand, the park, colours or water. I allow her to play as she feels like.

I do not want her to keep the paint colours safe in separate containers. I allow her to mix up colours and see new colours getting created upon mixing.

I do not always introduce her to new games to engage her. I allow her to tell me a game we can play. She is the one who chooses the game materials and sets the rules for the game.

I do not say her painting needs little correction. I allow her perceive her own imaginations from the painting. May be, I am not able to see what the child was able to in the painting.

I do not want her to be a follower. I give her space to take the lead. I look for opportunities to learn from the child rather than teaching her all the time.

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Is there any learning?

What is the race that young children are taking up? Is it the child's own interest to get into the race or the parents' push to send their kids in the race to return as a winner. Is it due to the FOMO effect or the peer-pressure?

Why does any parent want the child to excel in his studies, attend extra tuitions even at the age of 4, go for music classes, excel in singing, excel in dance, go for skate races, do all of them at the same time?

Is the child really enjoying his childhood or just pressurised to go for every race and return with a trophy in every field.

Childhood is really important time. Children need time to spend with themselves.

The school teacher is yelling at 5 year old for not doing what was asked to be done at the moment, the music teacher is threatening the child, the skating teacher is running behind the child with a rope to increase his skate speed. And, the parent pushes the child who starts denying to attend his classes, to not miss any because the fee has been paid and we are all looking for some positive outcome.

What is the positive outcome we are looking to see from children?

I am not saying a child is not capable of excelling at multiple tasks. Children are really capable of any task. I am more interested in knowing how the teaching is imparted from teacher's perspective and how encouragement has changed to pressure from parent's perspective.

If the child was really interested, why would a teacher have to threaten to make the student learn? Shouldn't the child fall in love with what she wants to learn and learn it wholeheartedly?
If that is not happening, then why is the child being pressurised to take up so much in his age.

How can a child who is being threatened in the music class to sing some devotional song in the perfect raaga else would be punished have devotion in her singing and towards music? What actually happens is that the brain stops thinking, it freezes at what kind of punishment would be awaiting and the child performs only 'Out of Fear' and not 'out of love' or 'out of devotion'. If it is about singing devotional songs, the child must first be explained what the meaning of the song is, the source or the history of the song. The child should love what she is doing.

A child who is set to venture to learn any task, may be reading, writing, running, hopping, jumping, skating, sliding, singing, dancing should first FALL IN LOVE with what she wants to do. Where there is force, the learning is limited, or rather, is there any learning in true sense?

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July 04, 2017

Toddler's tasks

There's no task which is unimportant to a toddler. An adult can never underestimate the power of a toddler's brain and try to overpower his thinking by physical strength.

The child's actions may be perceived as messy by an adult. An adult who notices a toddler playing with heap of clothes, segregating wet-to-be-dried clothes may get irritated. But, if you look at the intention behind child's actions, it is all good.

There was a pile of clothes spread all over the mat waiting to be folded. Yes, they lie there for some time since there are many other things(kids) that take priority over keeping my house clean ☺

DD1 was meddling with the clothes which I did not notice much and casually, pulled out a pant from the pile for her to wear it.

DD1: Phew! Why did you pull out the pant? I made such a nice mountain and I worked very hard to make it. (I explain to her that we need to respect what someone does because they do it with great effort and now, she tells me back the same.)

Me: Oops, Sorry! But, I needed your pant. Shall we take one out?

DD1: Oh! Pant? OK. I can remove it. The mountain can still stay so.

And, she hands me the pant.

There is no task that is unimportant or redundant for a toddler.
An adult may not know the 'whys' behind every action, but, just being with the child during all her actions gives her a sense of trust.

Next time when you notice your child playing with things around the house. Just let them be. (Of course, make sure that the items are safe to be handled).

Let them play around.
Let them make a mess.
Let them learn in their own style.

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