February 02, 2017

Gentle Parenting Tips


Gentle Parenting strategies and suggestions.
How can you inculcate gentle parenting in everyday conversations with your child? Following are the simple ways to make meaningful communication with little ones:

Instead of
Say
Child picks up a stone

  • No! Don’t touch the stone.  You see the security there? He’s going to hit you.
  • ·         Ah! You picked a stone. Look at it. See how hard it is.
  • ·         Notice the dirt it smeared over your palm. That’s ok, just wipe your hands. Do not put them in your eyes or mouth.
  • ·         Back to the stone, do you see how hard it is? It is called a stone and it doesn’t seem to be clean.
  • ·         It is not something we eat. Stones are used to build this wall. You see the wall, how hard/strong it is? There are stones inside the wall.
  • ·         Do you know what we can do with them? You could count them, arrange them a row or any shape. Let’s count the stones now.
  • ·         Make sure you don’t hurt anyone with it.
  • ·         Another game we could play is, throw the stone couple of feet away, run towards it, pick it and repeat. Just make sure, your way is clear before you throw the stone. And be gentle, not a harsh throw.
  • ·         Can you think of any new ways to play with these stones?

What is being conveyed:
  • ·         That there is always someone who punishes for exploring the world.
  • ·         Immediate culmination of thoughts and doing what was supposed to be done.
  • ·         Do not touch anything that kindles you to explore
  • ·         Do not touch all that is told not to by me
  • ·         Do as I say, do not think on your own

What is being conveyed:
  • You are allowed to explore your surroundings!!! (MOST IMPORTANT for a child)
  • You teach what it is and what it is used for
  • You teach how it should not be used(not edible) and how it can be used for
  • You light the fire to become able to think of new ways of looking at things
  • You initiate new thoughts
Child repeatedly opens the kitchen cabinets
  • Hushhhh… Don’t do that
  • Stop making noise
  • Stop doing it
  • That’s a cabinet and we open it if we need to take anything from it.
  • Do you want to pick a spoon? Open the draw, take the spoon and close it. That’s all.
  • We open it only when we need something from it.
What is being conveyed:
  • ·         Immediate culmination of thoughts and doing what was supposed to be done.
  • ·         Do not touch anything that kindles you to explore
  • ·         Do not touch all that is told not to by me

  • Do as I say, do not think on your own
What is being conveyed:
  • Teaching what a cabinet means and purpose of its use
  • Teaching how to operate it

Child puts her hand on scissors
  • Don’t touch it
  • Children are not supposed to hold it, I can hold it
  • It doesn’t harm me because I am elder than you
  • Ah! That’s scissors. It has a sharp edge. Let me show you. You touch your finger against the sharp edge and convey the message that sharpness could injure your skin by means of your facial expression
  • We should only hold the handle here; never touch the sharp edge because it hurts.
  • You could just try to hold the handle once and cut paper with it. If you are unable to cut through, you could try in some days. As people grow, we tend to be more careful and that is how I am able to do it correctly. When I was young, even I was susceptible to injuries, with time I learnt how to handle things
What is being conveyed:
  • ·         Immediate culmination of thoughts and doing what was supposed to be done.
  • ·         Do not touch anything that kindles you to explore
  • ·         Do not touch all that is told not to by me

  • Do as I say, do not think on your own
What is being conveyed:
  • Teach the parts of scissors and the purpose of it
  • Teach the way it has to be handled and the way it should not be handled
  • Teach the probability of failing to do it correctly in the first attempt
Child tries to handle knife
(Same points as above)
(Same points as above)
Child meddles with sand in the play area
  • Do not touch sand
  • If you are going down to the sand, we are leaving this play area right now
  • I told you not to and you are still playing with sand
  • That is sand and you could play in numerous ways with it.
  • We shall get some sand play kit
  • Only be careful to not put your hand or the sand in your eyes or mouth.
  • When pouring the sand from one bucket to the other, do not raise your hand high. Because of the wind, sand could be blown to your eyes.
  • Make an imagine play out of it
  • Make shapes with moist sand
  • Play hide n seek with a toy in sand
  • Can you come up with a new game in the sand?
  • What is being conveyed:
  • ·         Immediate culmination of thoughts and doing what was supposed to be done.
  • ·         Do not touch anything that kindles you to explore
  • ·         Do not touch all that is told not to by me

  • Do as I say, do not think on your own
What is being conveyed:
  • Teach the texture of sand
  • Teach ways of playing with sand
  • Teach how not to play with sand
  • Trigger thought process of your child
Child just spilled water
  • You again spilled water
  • How big a mess you create
  • I told you not to do it
  • Oh! Water is spilled. Did you lose grip in your hand.
  • Try to hold it firm with better grip the next time.
  • When you hold the glass and you tilt it in one direction, water flows out. Do you see this? Show how it happens to your child.
  • When drinking water, we need to hold the glass firmly
  • That’s ok, next time you will hold it better
  • Try not to get your dress wet the next time.
What is being conveyed:
  • I am being shouted at
  • I just don’t know what I did
  • I just don’t know how it happened
  • I am not being taught how to do things right
  • I don’t know why I am being yelled at
What is being conveyed:
  • Teaching that failure is common in few attempts.
  • Teaching that we can always reach perfection in the next attempt
  • Teaching the way to do right
  • Teaching what actually caused the water to spill
  • Teaching that surroundings/dress becomes wet when water is spilled over
Child spilled food while eating
  • How big a mess you create
  • I told you not to try
  • I will feed you quick, open your mouth

  • Oh! Food is dropping down.
  • Hold the spoon firmly
  • Do not tilt the spoon
  • Try eating without spilling food the next time
What is being conveyed:
  • I am being shouted at
  • I just don’t know what I did
  • I just don’t know how it happened
  • I am not being taught how to do things right
  • I don’t know why I am being yelled at
What is being conveyed:
  • Teaching that failure is common in few attempts.
  • Teaching that we can always reach perfection in the next attempt
  • Teaching the way to do right
  • Teaching what actually caused the food to spill
  • Teaching that surroundings/dress becomes dirty when food is dropped

Child tries to open the lid of a jar
  • You cannot open it
  • Give it to me, I will open the lid
  • You will spill the contents, don’t open it
  • The lid might be tight to open; do you want to try once?
  • Give me if you are unable to open it, I’ll show you how to
  • Hold the jar straight and steady when opening, if tilted, the contents could spill off
What is being conveyed:
  • Do not attempt to try anything new
  • Do as I say, do not think on your own
What is being conveyed:
  • Teaching how to open the jar
  • Teaching how not to hold the jar
  • Teaching the importance of making an attempt at something
Child tries to close a cupboard
  • You will hurt yourself, do not close it
  • Leave it, I’ll close it
  • See where your finger is, do not place it between the two doors, it will hurt you
  • First close one door and next the other
  • You need not push it very hard
What is being conveyed:
  • Do not attempt to try anything new
  • Do as I say, do not think on your own
What is being conveyed:
  • Teaching the way to handle things
  • Teaching the way how not to handle things
  • Teaching the point that the child can learn new things

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