January 20, 2017

Providing opportunities or rushing things?

There are many instances when children would want to try their hand at doing things. We, as parents, need to mentally freeze time, should not rush things, and allow the child to do what they wished to.

Instead, if you get irritated and react with frustration in your tone, it sends out a disappointing signal to your child. Children look for encouragement. Give them your time and let them try new things. They may fail the first time and many times. The point that your child had actually thought of trying her hand at something is to be treasured and taken forward. Their failed attempts may make you wait eventually losing your patience. No matter what they are trying, do not react in a negative way, do not show your irritation in your face or voice. Encourage them. Teach them to learn things. And most importantly, learn from them. Children are great teachers.

A usually keeps pouring water from one bottle to other. If there is any water spillage, she simply wipes it off with cloth too. She is not scared that she's going to hear loud voice from mother if water spills, instead, she knows how the spill can be cleaned, the solution for it. And after few attempts, there is no more spillage of water. She is now able to pour water by holding up one bottle and tilting on the other in the right angle.

Even a while ago, when sleep time was nearing and I put on a sweater for her, she opened up all 10 buttons and closed them back herself. It took time. Lot of time in the parent's perspective. With an infant on my lap and eyes constantly looking at the clock, my mind said, it is getting past sleep time for A. I kept saying to A, try it one more time, if you can't, I'll close it. She kept saying, I'll do it, I'll do it. I waited. Waited for quite some time. She finished it and exclaimed. Even some time after the sleep process has started, she recalled this and told me with a wide smile that she buttoned up her sweater all by herself. Sometimes, and with kids, all the time (depending on urgency of situation, of course), you need to wait, close your eyes, relax, do not rush, give them time, encourage, guide them, and wait for them to finish it off with perfection.

When your child says,

I'll put the key in key hole, show her the position in which key is to be held and the way it needs to be inserted.

I'll pour water from bottle to glass, let her. Do not worry of the mess it would likely create.

I'll cut the tag with scissors, let her. Ask her to notice if that's hard or OK to cut, she is always welcome to try and if she feels it is hard you can do it.

I'll open the jar, let her. Show her how she has to hold the jar, how holding it inclined will make the content to fall out.

I'll wear my shoes, let her.

And many more...

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