Dear second child(newborn/infant),
I love you as much as I love your sister. Though the way I show it for you may be different than the one your sister experienced, please trust me, with your arrival in our lives, my love has nothing but multiplied immensely. Though I wish to convey the same in my everyday interaction with you, I am not sure whether I am able to do it as perfectly as I think of it.
Today, as you dozed off to sleep in my lap holding my thumb finger tightly with your tiny palm, I encircled your palm with my other four fingers, held your hand tight along with all the tenderness, took it close to my heart, with the emotions hitting the highest peak, wept silently for sometime.
Yes, I have my whole life dedicated for your well being, just that, I may not be able to convey the same, right at this moment.
All through the time I am with you, as I recall how I was 2yr 10months back, I do notice good amount of difference between the way I handled your sister back then and you now. However, I do aim to perfect my role and doing my best for the present scenario.
I constantly want to talk to you, but, I may not be making proper eye contact all through the while since I am also narrating the story your sister had asked for. As I keep enacting the story for her, I am silently smiling at you only to listen to your coo as a response to my silent smile. Sorry, if you thought I didn't respond to you immediately.
I am saddened when I see you calling for me while I am busy feeding your sister. I do not wish to keep you waiting for any reason. I would always want to have continuous touch with you. Sorry, if you are disappointed with my response time. Please trust me. I ensure my presence for you in case of any need.
I keep counting seconds until I take you in my arms, while you are busy looking for me when I attend to your sister's needs. I wish there was a clone of me who would always stay close by and provide all the warmth.
You may be simply lying on my lap waiting for me to talk to you, while I am in a pretend-play with your sister. Believe me, my soul does concentrate on both the play and you in my lap looking around and drags my sight towards you intermittently.
As I also keep talking to your sister about how, in months time, you would be better able to play with her and do the many number of activities that she is doing now, she gets excited and adds that she would play with you and no longer call for me then. She would teach you the activity and play in your company. Everyone around you loves you and wants to spend time with you. As you grow from infant to a year old and beyond, hope you will be able to understand our intention and share your love and goodness around.
Your loving mother
P.S. Life is awesome, surrounded by two children, I am having goosebumps and wet eyes as I write this.