Every person in this universe wants to love and be loved right from the moment of their birth until the last breath and beyond. Where one finds love may vary with each person, but, ultimately it is love that everyone is looking for. One may find love with his/her companion. Another may find love with the parents. Another may find love with his/her pet. Another may find love with his/her career. Another may find love in some hobby. Another may find love within himself. Whoever it is and whatever their main job is, everyone wants to be surrounded by love.
Why? Because in love, there is warmth. In love, there is comfort. In love, there is trust. In love, there is understanding. In love, there is respect. In love, there is peace. In love, there is positivity. In love, there is bliss. In love, there is life.
When we do not like a specific environment we tend to stay away from it. We are always attracted towards something that gives us comfort and treats us well. There may be a feeling that it is an adult's right to feel so and choose as per his/her wish. The same principle holds true for children as well. All that the child looks for in their relationship with parents is love and support. Right from the moment the child is born(in womb) she/he craves for comfort and warmth. The child chooses to stay with people who provide warmth and stay away from those who she/he feels uncomfortable with.
Love is a form of energy and it can in turn take many forms. Your love can be expressed in many ways.
When the child is throwing tantrum, all that she needs is love(in form or understanding), not an impulsive negative frustrating reaction from her care takers. And, she is sure to continue the tantrum until she gets some comfort from her surrounding.
When the child has absent mindedly smeared paint all over her hand along with spreading the same on floor, all she is looking for is love(in form of support or guidance) as to how she could have handled it, not a big shout about why she did it. Even she doesn't know why she actually messed up. Messing up was not a part of her intention. Sure, if you had yelled at her first attempt, she would definitely keep repeating the same mess until she receives love from you. Until the parent calms down, sees through child's frequency and guides her on how she could handle her play, the child continues to do the same mess.
When the child has dropped something unknowingly which caused a crack, again, all that the child needs is love (in form of understanding), not an impulsive angry shout.
When the child is overly tired and cranky because of her inability to fall asleep, all that the child needs is love(in form of warmth), not screams and shouts.
When the child is crying over seemingly trivial things like not moving to brush/bath, not eating, wearing clothes etc, all that the child needs is love(in form of respect). You could ask questions, provide alternatives, ask what she wants to choose and respect her decision instead of enforcing her.
When the child is cranky/crying or showing irritation at the end of the day because of her inability to talk out her tiredness/discomfort/problem, all that she needs is love(in form of understanding), not a frustrating reply for her behaviour.
A wise man once said:
Love as Thought is Truth.
Love as Action is Right Conduct.
Love as Understanding is Peace.
Love as Feeling is Non-violence.
Let us not become violent and in turn raise our children into violent adults.
Hence, when something's not going well, or you are facing increasing tantrums, pause yourself, think over what has been happening over past few days and how your reaction was, judge if it was the right one and change it for the betterment of yourself, your child and the relation you share. Show some love.