May 30, 2016

How does parent's reaction matter?

I was getting A ready when we had to go out and A was not coming to me immediately. I waited for quite some time, but, she's been telling she'll be right there after doing this, after doing that etc and I kept waiting. Then she saw something(edible but she doesn't like to eat it) in a plate and put her hand in it. Already having waited for long time, I reacted saying 'That's not something you like to eat, please come here, A'. For which she said, 'one of it fell off the plate and I kept it in the plate, that's all amma'. And I replied, 'Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't see what you were doing'. She came back to me with a big smile.

Yes, she had a reason for putting her hand in the plate. But from a parent's perspective, we may feel that she is only whiling away her time eventually delaying us. We immediately react with anger/irritation in our tone as a result of which both our's and the child's mood are spoiled. Each of us can imagine what could happen with our own child if we reacted in a negative way.

This scenario only reiterates the following points:

  • Yelling is never the right way to react.
  • Take a deep breathe and try to pose questions to your child for which she replies and you understand her better.
  • Remember, every moment, every situation you are in by your child side, it is an opportunity to develop a stronger connection with your child.
  • Before shooting up in anger, take a fraction of moment to think from the child's perspective and your anger vanishes. 
  • When there is no yelling in parenting, you will start appreciating your own self, your child and the bond you share better every day.
  • When there is neither irritation nor anger nor yelling, you transform to a happier self, understand simple scenarios in life from a third eye perspective and lead a happier life. 
  • As the child is only seeing a happy-mommy personality rather than an angry mommy or irritating mommy, the child learns to be happy, learns to deal tough things in life peacefully. 

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