May 18, 2016

Conveying your message to a toddler

It was sleep time. I was already down half asleep. A went across the bed to have some water where she saw the water bottle that we use(bigger one) and wanted to keep it on the table.

A: I will keep this bottle on the table.

Me: (Half asleep) No. Don't keep it on the table.

A: I will keep this bottle on the table.

Me: No,no. Don't keep it on the table.

A: I will keep this bottle on the table.

Me: I need the bottle to drink water from, A. Please keep it nearer to the bed.

A: Oh, you need it to drink water. Ok, I will keep it here.
(coming back to her place to sleep)

Some points to take away from this incident:


  1. Kids need explanation for doing what they are asked/requested to do by us.
  2. Having a negative answer does not emphasise the need for that task that is asked for.
  3. Explain to them what they are trying to do and why it cannot be done by framing your answer in a positive way. 
  4. Be gentle while talking, do not yell, do not get irritated.
  5. What kids do in action actually depends on how you talk to them, your tone and the way you frame your words. 
  6. To actually understand what your child wants to do and what you want to convey, you have to get into your child's place and analyse her thoughts/actions as a child. Only then you can answer in a pleasing way that will eventually convince your child. 
  7. To take your child's place, you need to be conscious of what is happening around you, understand what the situation is- this is again an example of conscious parenting


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