May 14, 2015

How to handle toddler's tantrums

Every mother knows what a tantrum is and how intense it can get once the child becomes cranky. Remember, everything is a temporary phase and is a part of developmental behaviour of child. Instead of becoming upset with your child's behaviour and spreading the frustration all around, give the tantrum a thought and pull it down gently. Remember the basic rule - your child shows to you whatever you show to her. If you are pleasant with her, the pleasant frequency is spread around and she is pleasant. If you are frustrated with her, you get the same back from her. She is your mirror.

Now, it can also happen that parent is always cool but the child is somehow unhappy and showing her discomfort by yelling or messing around. Follow some basic rules to avoid such tantrums and try to get the child out of such situation using creative techniques.

Timely feeding and napping 

Well, it is almost needless to talk about importance of food and sleep - two basic necessities of any living being. With kids, the point is, try to regularise the timings of your child's feed and sleep and follow the same everyday. If it keeps swaying this way and that way, the child doesn't really understand what she is doing at what time of the day. Their hunger patterns will be disturbed and so are their sleep patterns. It is very important to set a fixed schedule and follow the same without taking lenience. Else, once the child starts feeling sleepy and immediately hungry, she refuses to eat properly due to the lack of sleep and refuses to nap well due to unhappy tummy and that is when you would have to handle a disturbed child.

Do not say 'No'

Did your child pick up something that you do not want her to? Is your child messing with the laundry clothes? Is your child playing with the dirty yet-to-do utensils? Your immediate reaction should never be a scream and 'No! Do not do that'. This reaction only pushes the child to go back and do the same thing, and when you don't allow her to, it results in tantrums and a screeching yell. Just allow her to hold whatever she has in her hand, take her close or carry her and tell her that it's like something very dirty and you become dirty and then you would have to clean your hands, feet, mouth and so on. Kids sure love stories. You need to be imaginative in the way you talk to your child. Your child will lend her ear to what you are saying and drop off the thing herself. You need to follow the same way of teaching in most of the aspects, or atleast create a pattern for yourself. And one day, when your toddler is little grown up and can talk fluently, she is sure to repeat the story you have been telling her and gradually learn what to do and what not to do.

Know what your child wants even before she asks for it
She wants to eat something or she wants her favourite toy or she wants to play in the pool or whatever it is, know what your child wants even before she asks for it. You may not want her to do it at that moment, but know what she wants and what she is likely looking for and either give it if it's the right time or tell her that she has to wait for sometime and you are going to give her, and please give it to her when you promised to do so. That way the child will feel happy as well as satisfied that she got what she wanted after some wait that is completely worth of. Do not make it a habit of keeping something away from a child and giving it to her after she asks for it repeatedly. In that case, the child learns that it must be the way of asking for whatever she wants to have.

Know what keeps her engaged

Before going out for a drive or shopping or to the regular grocery store, take along those toys, books or some snack that keep your child engaged. We may be going out to get some of our work done, but, it is not necessary that child will be interested in what we are. Children get bored very fast. They enter a place, explore for a while, pick up what they can reach for and get bored. They need change in place, change in the activity in too short a period of time. First, you need to be mentally prepared to face a fussy child or listen to tantrums right when you make your plan. This way you will be prepared of what technique you can follow once you face it.  Remember not to delay your child's feed or nap time when you are out. A hungry or sleepy child becomes hard to handle. Plan your trip always keeping in mind the child's schedule.

Don't lose your cool

Well, this is actually the foremost thing to follow when handling a fussy child. The frequency of your attitude with which you handle any situation spreads around like magic. And, needless to say, kids are the first ones who catch that frequency and reflect the same in their attitude. Remember you are an adult and she is just a child. The child learns and does exactly what you teach and do to them. Read more on how to interact with a child here. Handling kids does not seem simple, but is sure an experience that can be cherished when dealt with patience and fun attitude.


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